Hello, my name is humble and I'm a blogaholic.
That said, let us get on with our blogging.

Have you ever had on a moment of premeditated revenge?
Kinda like the murder type, except with no fatalities.
Someone pisses you off in some way and you sit there contemplating your Justified Act of Revenge.

no?  well, excuse me, I am not so liberated that I can wait for Karma to take action, me, I like to help her along.

So I'm watching Iron Man, (don't worry no spoilers) and at probably the quietest part of the entire movie, Mondo Butardo decides he's going to make a phone call. 
Did he step out to accomplish this?
Uh, no.
No, of course not, but he did speak quietly so as to not disturb the other moviegoers, right?
Nope, not so much.

No, Mr Butardo did not leave the theater, he did not speak quietly, instead he proceeded to make his phone call for all and sundry to witness.

So I think to myself, this poo-bastard is going to make it quick, he's not going to be so rude as to talk for more than a minute or so.
Call me naive, I still believe in the Golden Rule and all.

Yes, well, as most of you astute characters out there have already guessed, Fart Knocker proceeded to converse for about 5 minutes of the movie.  And, apparently, he doesn't realize that cell phones are capable of magically sending your voice many miles away without the help of your ability to project.
Yes Mr Butardo, you don't need to YELL into your cell phone for it to work, and if you do, you're probably just not doing it right. Butt munch.

So, and this reflects poorly on me but maybe I'm PMSing, I spend the next 10 minutes or so plotting my revenge.

I will toss popcorn at him throughout the movie.  I have good aim, I can do this.

No no no,  I will throw ice at him!  There's always too much ice in movie theater sodas anyway, why waste it?

At the end of the movie I will 'accidentally' spill my almost full Large Coke on him when I scooch past on my way out.  "Oh, I am sooo sorry!!"
Buttroid.

yeah, I'm sure you mischievous folks can come up with way better ones.

Want to know what I actually did?




Nothing.

I really liked the movie though. 

Can't wait for the first sequel.

~humblebee